A Father’s Day Wish
This Father's Day I'm choosing to remember, learn, and even benefit from all of the relationship between my dad and I…the good, the bad, and even the ugly.
Let’s start with the ugly. My dad could be very harsh and had a short fuse attached to a big temper. This often led to outbursts where he was frequently verbally abusive, and on occasion physically so. I want to be clear that I’m not saying this to get back at him. In truth, he was a complicated man with tremendous light and dark sides. Also, like me and perhaps you, he had blind spots and “didn't know what he didn't know".
Also, I have wonderful memories and lessons learned from Harold Henry Becker, now sainted for three years. Dad was the most honest man I’ve ever met, faithful to my mother for over 59 years, a hard worker, intensely loyal to friends, a wise steward of his resources, generous with his time and money, possessed a deep faith in God, and he was present at almost all of my school events. While he never said it out loud, I Dad with my son, Jeff instinctively knew my life was important to him.
Over 15 years ago we made our amends which led to wonderful healing, and a loving and joyful relationship the last dozen years of his life. In my faith tradition I learned that the devil “…intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done…” Genesis 50:20. So even though some of these memories are difficult, there is much good that can be learned, which in turn leads to a healthier life. I thank God and my dad, even for the difficult things.
I want to close with two hopes for dads (and dads to be). First, be the kind of man you want your son to grow up to be. Second, reach out to a dad who may be isolated and isn't in a good place. Encourage him to set the course he knows he needs to take.
On this Father's Day let's be dads (and moms) and encourage dads to be the fathers that shape hearts and minds, and eventually families and society, that leads to a life of meaning and purpose. So, go make some important plans. It will change the ending of your story to one that is more powerful, meaningful and filled with hope.
This blog shares perspectives on how you have the ability to create new story endings that are meaningful, powerful and filled with hope. I facilitate culture changing processes that help organizations achieve greater impact. Also, I provide leadership coaching to help executives and aspiring leaders become the fullest expression of who they’re intended to be.
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