Father’s Day Wish
(Updated from June 2018 Blog)
This Father's Day I'm choosing to remember, learn, and even benefit from the relationship between my dad and I…the good, the bad, and even the ugly.
I have wonderful memories and lessons learned from Harold Henry Becker, now sainted for eight years. Dad was the most honest man I’ve ever met, faithful and supportive of my mother for over 59 years, a hard worker, intensely loyal to friends, generous with his time and money, possessed a simple and deep faith in God, and he was present at almost all of my school sporting and musical events. I instinctively knew this was important to him, even though he wasn’t the kind of man to ever say it out loud.
He could also be harsh. He had a sharp and quick tongue that was demeaning, and he had a volatile temper which often led to emotional outbursts where he was verbally abusive, and on occasion physically so.
I want to be clear that I’m not saying this to get back at him. In truth, he was a complicated man with tremendous light...and dark sides. Also, like me and many of you, he had blind spots and “didn't know what he didn't know".
About 20 years ago we made our amends which led to tremendous healing, and a loving and joyful relationship the last dozen years of his life.
In my faith tradition I learned that the devil “…intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done…” (Genesis 50:20 – This is the story of how Joseph’s brothers sold him into slavery. Decades later Joseph was in a position of tremendous power to do good.) So even though some of my memories are difficult, there is much good that can be learned, which in turn leads to a healthier life. I thank God and my dad, even for the difficult things.
I have two Father’s Day wishes. First, be the kind of man you want your son to grow up to be. Second, reach out to a dad who may be isolated and isn't in a good place. Encourage him to set the course he knows he needs to take.
And for those moms who are raising kids without the dad…God bless you for your courageous and needed efforts. Let’s all be moms and dads that shape hearts and minds, and eventually families and society, that leads to a life of meaning and purpose.
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